I went to a dog show this weekend. It was great! So many doggies, so many breeds! It got me wondering, do mages have pets?
Simon Not dogs! Dogs are stupid! They never talk, they just drool. And when they do talk, even I can’t understand them.
Nathan I beg to differ, Simon. Dogs do talk. They just don’t talk to you, and you probably don’t understand them because they are immensely more intelligent than you are.
Catherine Nathan! That wasn’t nice.
Nathan Neither was his crack about dogs!
The Mage Sister So I take it you have dogs, Nathan?
Nathan Not anymore. They don’t live very long and I get attached to them, and before I know it, they’ve gone to the gate.
Catherine And he sobs like a baby.
Nathan I’m ignoring you, Catherine. But I have had many over the years. Good people, dogs are.
Simon That explains a lot.
Nathan Shut up, Simon!
Simon I have a little squirrel friend named Esme…
Nathan You mean a flea-ridden rat named Esme!
Simon Esme is a squirrel, not a rat! And she’s cleaner than you are.
Nathan If by squirrel you mean a flea-ridden rat with a bushy tail - sure! I'll go along with that.
The Mage Sister What other friends do you have, Simon?
Nathan Half of the Mage Woods. Simon has no people skills, but the creatures deign to associate with him. They feel sorry for him. The bears agreed that he was too pathetic to eat.
The Mage Sister Wow, Nathan. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the planet this morning or what?
Simon Dang! No kidding! What'd I ever do to you?
Nathan You breathe!
Cristov That will do, Nathan! I'll see you both in the Council Chambers in an hour. Such nonsense! Arguing in public over such trivial matters. I ask you! And both of you are old enough to know better!
Nathan Now look what you did, Simon!
Simon What I did! I didn't do anything!