Nathan I don’t get it.
Simon Even in my drunkest moment, I’ve never tried dancing in any boat that wasn’t bigger than a house.
Cullen That is not true, Simon. What about that time at the Buck & Fowl when you bet that Chilharian sailor that you could do the Dragon’s Prance AS A DRAGON in a skiff?
Simon Never happened. I’d never do anything so stupid!
Nathan Oh please! Allow me to remind you about the time at the Rooster’s Waistcoat, where you are now banned for life for pinching all the barmaids knickers!
Jahx You mean he pinched their... ahem... nether areas?
Nathan No! He stole their knickers right off them?
Jahx How'd he do that?
Nathan I have no idea, and I don't want to know!
Simon That’s just a rumor!
Nathan Not according to the landlord, it's not!
Simon He's a drunkard!
Cullen Oh, look who's talking! And I suppose all the glasses at the Dancing Duchess broke themselves?
Simon I have no idea what you're talking about.
Cullen I'm sure you don't!
Nathan And I suppose you have no idea who shouted "Fire!" at the Meddlesome Slipper, and then helped himself to all the spirits behind the bar?
Simon No, who?
Nathan Here's a clue! His name is posted on the board behind the bar under 'BANNED FOR LIFE' and it's spelled S-I-M-O-N, AKA, the Queen's halfwit reprobate of a brother!
Jahx I believe I saw the very same name posted at the Gorgeous Dormouse, as well. What was it he did to deserve that?
Cullen Oh, that was a good one! He was being a little too friendly to the landlord’s daughter – the man was enormous and just knocked the stuffing out him!
Nathan Is there any pub you’re not banned from, Simon?
Simon Lies! All of it!
Cullen Nuh-uh! I was there!
Simon You clearly don’t remember right.
Cullen You’re the one who doesn’t remember! I was the one who patched you up after.
Simon … … … that was you?
Cullen Yes, it was. You told me I was a lovely girl and tried to kiss me. So I broke your nose.
Simon That was you?!? That hurt, you dafnit!
Cullen Not as much as it will if you try it again.