Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)
Nathan Very wise woman. Was she a king?
Arinda Nathan, kings are men, not women. Honestly.
Nathan Now that’s just ridiculous. Do you know every king in the world?
Arinda Well… no.
Nathan How many do you know?
Arinda ... just you.
Nathan Well, then… you see my point.
Arinda No, actually I don’t. Kings are men, women are queens.
Nathan Silly, silly girl. It’s the same thing. Why quibble about what you call it? You could call it Quing, for all I care – it’s the same job.
Arinda Fair point, but I don’t appreciate your tone, you big jerk.
Nathan Is that any way to speak to your king, young lady?
Jahx I thought you were going by Quing Nathan now.
Nathan No one asked for your opinion, Jahx.
Jahx I’m going to have to have all my textbooks redone…
… … …
… … …
Catherine ***SIGH*** ***SIGH*** ***SIGH***
Nathan Fine. So you’re just being windy?
Catherine Shut up, Nathan.
Nathan Then WHAT?
Arinda I have a feeling it may have something to do with the Spring Festival, and you not showing up.
Catherine Hmmm, do you think?
Nathan I was indisposed.
Catherine You weren’t indisposed! You were disinclined!
Arinda Is there a difference?
Nathan I had a terrible headache! I even have a note from the Royal High Healer, but a fat lot of sympathy I get around here!
Catherine You had a headache because you AND Cullen went out with Simon and got plowed! It’s no wonder he “gave you a note”.
Nathan Where is he? I need to him to give me a note for this horrible growth I have.
Arinda What growth would that be? I don’t see any growth.
Nathan Near as I can tell, it’s a shrill, vindictive, bad-tempered, and just plain mean addle-pated harpy from hell who manifests itself as a thorn in my side. And it JUST KEEPS GETTING BIGGER!
Arinda There’s no need to be rude, Nathan. You scarpered off and you know it. Catherine has every right to be mad at you.
Cullen Oh look. There’s another one, Nathan. I’d have those removed if I were you.
Nathan You think? Please do!
Arinda You’re both rude, and I’m telling Cristov on you.
Cullen Oh really. Come here, Rinda. I have something to show you.
Arinda Hey! Cut that out! Jahx!!! I’m… telli…ng…
Jahx Um, what’d you do to my wife?
Cullen Nothing. She was tired, so she took a nap.
Nathan Got something to say about that, Jahx?
Jahx Nope. I didn’t see a thing.
Catherine You’re thugs. Nothing but bullies and thugs.
Nathan You’re looking a bit tired yourself, darling!
Catherine You come near me and I’ll show you what a real thorn in your side looks like!
Nathan Which rather sounds like a nice idea, but for the unfortunate fact that it’s probably overcrowded, as all the people I know avoid obstacles like the plague.
Arinda What’s so nice a about a path that doesn’t lead anywhere?
Nathan I didn’t say it is a nice idea. I said it sounds a nice idea. Sometimes a fellow just wants a nice, quiet stroll. It doesn’t have to be going anywhere.
Cullen Which says a great deal about your character…
Arinda Cullen, must you pick a fight?
Nathan Oh, let him – I don’t care. He so loves scrapping it out. How do you think he gets most of his patients? He damages them and then charges them enormous fees to fix them up.
Cullen That’s not true.
Nathan Simon’s broken nose?
Cullen He said I was a lovely girl and tried to kiss me, the drunken git! Besides, Circle folk don’t pay for healers.
Jahx You poisoned me.
Cullen I did not poison you, for the thousandth time! It was an allergic reaction.
Nathan Oh, I’ve heard that more than once! You used to do that to my Dad all the time. AND there was that time you pushed him down the stairs.
Cullen First of all, no one ever proved I did a thing to your dad. Second of all, he had it coming.
Nathan There was Thomas and the splinter from hell…
Nathan You put a tree through his foot.
Cullen Allegedly! I can’t be held accountable for the whims of trees.
Nathan I suppose he annoyed the tree and it just shot through his foot on its own?
Cullen Maybe! He was being pompous, and no one objected at the time.
Nathan Thomas objected quite loudly, if I remember.
Cullen Yes, well, Thomas is always objecting about something, isn’t he.
Nathan He really is, I’ll give you that.
Arinda Has he ever done anything like that to you, Nathan?
Nathan Oh, he wouldn’t dare.
Cullen Oh, wouldn’t I?
Jahx Those two are always fighting about something. Cullen has no need to be subtle about it. I can’t imagine why Nathan chose him for the Royal High Healer.
Nathan Better than the Rowan Guild, the self-important @#$%&*!s.
Cullen Now that’s about the truest thing you’ve said!
Nathan Are you saying everything else I’ve said is a lie?
Cullen I didn’t say it, you did.
Nathan Why you!
Jahx Great. There they go again.
Arinda How about a walk, Jahx? I could use some fresh air about now.
Jahx Excellent idea.
Nathan Where are they going? Fighting’s no fun if no one is around to be shocked and outraged.
Cullen I KNOW! Rude and inconsiderate, I call it!
Nathan We can always go with…
Cullen Works for me…
Arinda Oh no you don’t, you ten-year-old reprobates! You stay right there!
Nathan Hey! Lemme go!
Cullen Now that was uncalled for!
Jahx You pack quite a punch there, slugger. Excellent work!
Arinda Why, thank you!
Nathan I’ll have you know I’m going to need a healer’s assistance from this, missy!
It’s such a beautiful day! And the Spring Festival is coming up. I know I’m looking forward to it – how about you all?
Catherine Oh, definitely! It’s going to be quite a treat this year!
Oh? Why is that? You are usually very stressed at this point.
Nathan This year she delegated.
Nathan Yep! She delegated everything! And I've actually had a few moments peace this year.
Why is that?
Nathan I made her do it. I told her, Catherine, I order you to do this! You are not to life a finger, or I'll have you thrown in the stocks! That's what I'll do!
Catherine Oh, you did not! What nonsense! I just decided that it was time to let others take on some responsibility and try to enjoy the event for once.
Nathan Balderdash! You, madam, are a big liar!
Catherine Why, how dare you call me a liar, sir!
Nathan Because you are! I told you that I’d disappear until afterwards, and that’s the only reason…
Catherine I thought you said you'd throw me in the stocks. The ones we don't have, by the way.
Nathan Yes, well, I did! And I said... that other thing...
Catherine Oh, don’t flatter yourself! I can always find you when I want to.
Nathan You can find me, but you can’t make me come out.
Catherine You wanna bet?
Jahx Couldn’t you two for once just say that you discussed something civilly and came to an agreement instead of all this strutting and crowing?
Nathan Why would I want to do that? She might think I like her!
Catherine Ew! I wouldn't be worried about that, if I were you. Besides, I don’t remember that conversation.
Jahx I was there.
Nathan You are a rumor-monger, Jahx Rife! I could have you arrested for that, I hope you know.
Jahx Right, right, I know.
Nathan Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me!
“When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.” Bernard Bailey
Catherine Oh, you don't say.
Cullen Shame on you, Catherine! You shouldn't talk about Nathan that way.
Nathan Oh, I know exactly who she's talking about, and it's not me for once.
Catherine There's no point in going on about it.
Nathan Oh, don't pretend you aren't just as irritated as I am!
Catherine Have you turned into an owl, Cullen?
Nathan Appropriately scathing, darling! Well done!
Cullen WHO IS IT?!?!?
Nathan Well, let's see. Who is loud, annoying, single-minded, breathtakingly rude, loud, annoying, harder than plague to get rid of, opinionated, oblivious, mean-spirited, did I mention loud and really annoying?
Catherine Now Nathan...
Nathan ...has no idea when she isn't wanted... and gave birth to the spawn of hell whom Satan himself cast out because he plagued the crap out of him...
Nathan You know, your admonitions would be more effective if you weren't laughing.
Cullen Oh, dear lord, she's not here is she?
Catherine All right, you two. I've just had a long day and my threshold of patience just couldn't accommodate...
Nathan Oh, for the love of Fiaryn, Kitty! Just say you wanted to kill her like everyone else!
Arinda Who are you lot talking about?
Catherine ***sigh*** Lady Peabody.
Catherine Not you, too?
Arinda That devil-child of hers is enrolled at Vespith. I hate that kid!
Jahx Arinda! Shame on you! You're talking about a student...
Arinda Oh, don't you dare act like you didn't lock the door and pretend you weren't there the last time he was sent to your office!
Jahx I did not!
Arinda You did, too! I was the one who dragged him there. And you made Rook talk to his mother.
Jahx All right, fine! They are the bane of my existence! He's set on perpetual destruction and she thinks everything he does is precious and I clearly have unreasonable expectations.
Catherine I know! All she ever talks about is that horrible child of hers, and she never fails to bring him along to civic functions and he wreaks havoc! She volunteers for every single committee I'm on and latches onto me like a tick! I've tried tell her we're all full, but she just shows up anyway, quack, quack quacking away in that shriek of a voice about little Roooooooooooddddderiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick! I've forbidden the rest of the volunteers to even utter a word about the details about any sort of function we're planning, but she manages to find out anyway, and just when I think I'll get a moments peace, here she comes! The last time we took baskets to the needy, he'd gone through half of them and taken one bite out of everything and then spit it back in the basket! And she just laughed, and said, 'Isn't he such a scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamp?" Oh, I just want to club her in the head with a cudgel!
Nathan Well... okay....
Arinda How do you know of her, Cullen?
Cullen If she calls for one of my healers one more time, I'm going to instruct him put arsenic in the well and put them out of my misery.
Nathan I didn't hear that.
Arinda Why is she calling for your healers, Cullen? She should be calling for the Rowan Guild healers.
Cullen I KNOW. I believe the Rowan Guild Master High Healer decreed that his healers are not to go anywhere near the Peabody Estate.
Catherine Oh, much that she cares! She has no sensitivity whatsoever. Rude, loud, thoughtless, completely oblivious... a ripping bore!
Nathan Well, Kitty, don't hold back now...
Catherine I had to put up with her all day, and you got me talking about it, so you can just shut up and listen!
Nathan All right then... you're scaring me a little.
Catherine Oh? I could call for Lady Peabody to keep you company, if you'd prefer.
Nathan Now that scares me a lot!
Cullen None of your beeswax.
Oh, c’mon! Did Nathan belt you one?
Cullen I stepped on a rake, if you must know.
While you were serving penance at the Keep for fighting with Nathan?
Cullen Yeah, sure, whatever.
Arinda Liar. Why don’t you tell her the real story?
Cullen Zip it, wench. No one asked you.
So Nathan did pin it on you?
Cullen Was she talking to you? I don’t think so!
Arinda Aw, oozoo wouldn’t be’s so cwanky if oo’d gotten a good night’s sleep like decent folks, dafnit!
What are talking about?
Arinda He tried to get even with Jahx last night for ratting him out to Cristov.
Nathan I told him it was a bad idea.
Cullen Shut up, Nathan.
Nathan I told you Jahx was the least of your worries.
Cullen Fine! Arinda slugged me. Happy now?
Arinda That’s what happens when you venture into a lady’s bedroom uninvited, you cad!
Nathan Yeah. You cad, you.
Cullen You’re not funny.