This was totally a guilty pleasure. 'Fat Vampire', a novella by Johnny B. Truant, is not my usual reading fare, but seeing as it was free (and still is on Nook and Kindle, if you want to check it out), I thought I'd step out of my comfort zone and give it a whirl.
Reginald Baskin is overweight. He works at a treadmill company where his co-workers are buff buffoons who constantly torment him. New IT guy Maurice is kind of odd -he's a weird Goth kid who carries a sword! But since he doesn't treat Reginald like the office joke, Reginald befriends him. Unfortunately, Maurice isn't just strange - he's a two thousand-year-old vampire.
When Reginald is attacked by some of Maurice's fellow vampires, Maurice decides to save Reginald's life by turning him. Reginald wakes up to discover he's become the most out-of-shape vampire ever, and the state of being a vampire will make it impossible to change... for all eternity.
As Reginald struggles to get the hang of being a fat vampire - too slow to catch a meal, and mocked by potential prey - he and Maurice are summoned before the Vampire Council. Maurice is in trouble for making an unauthorized vampire, and Reginald is in trouble for being the unauthorized vampire. Can his life possibly get any worse? Why, yes! Yes, it can.
I generally don't do vampires, but once in a while I push myself to read something I normally wouldn't, trying to push my boundaries and find new realms of reading to enjoy. This was one of those books. It was free and I thought, what the heck! It sounded funny.
It was funny, fresh and quick. It moved at an excellent pace and I should have gone to bed much earlier than I did, but I just had to keep reading to find out how on earth they were going to get out that mess. You don't have to be a fat vampire (or even a fat human) to relate to Reginald. If you've ever been bullied, teased or just felt out of place, you'll understand. And I really liked the way the author compensated for the character's lack of physical beauty with inner beauty and intelligence. He wasn't just a big loser, he had redeeming qualities.
It was a bit more violent than I would normally read - this one's not for the little 'uns. There was little bit of somewhat creative torture and lots of blood (Helloooo, vampire book - of course there's gonna be blood!). However, on the whole, the gore factor still wasn't really bad - just a bit of squeamy eew, but the pay-off was totally worth it!
Hey, check out Johnny B. Truant's 'Fat Vampire' for a fun, light read! It won't cost you a dime. There are six books in the series, and I plan to read them all, even though I'll have to plunk down some dinero to do it. I rate 'Fat Vampire' six and a half pizzas, a bucket of chicken and a box of ho-hos.
Mostly loony, generally harmless. Writer & professional smarty pants. Owned by an exasperated spaniel.